My Suicide Note
by Solitary Shadows
Summary: It didn't matter if you loved him, because you were going to kill him, anyway. Having him live next door didn't help that matter, either. Perhaps it wasn't so bad living alone afterall. LightxL


A/N: My first Death Note fic. The prologue was inspired after I read the article about what happened in Belgium, relating to the Death Note. I don't even know if I really want to continue this.

Warnings: Homocide, light sexual content, homosexuality, crazy!Light

Disclaimer: No, dont own it.

**MY SUICIDE NOTE  
**by: Solitary Shadows

_**Zero: Pleasure**_

"I'm going to kill you now…" I whispered into his ears.

Staring up at me with wide eyes, he whimpered and began to cry. His tears started pouring down in a strangely straight pattern. I looked at him and smiled.

"It won't hurt."

He closed his eyes and whimpered again. Fumbling with it in my hands, I turned it on. A horrid sound escaped from the now animate object in my hand, and looking at it, I brought it closer to his neck.

_"I love you."_

I kissed him, trying my best to allow my tongue to enter his mouth. But he wouldn't budge; instead his lips stayed unmoving and closed. Smiling at his attempt to be upset at me, I did it.

I slit open his neck.

A desperate cry escaped from whatever was left of his throat. His eyes shot open and gave me that long, disgusting look of fear. I kissed him again.

Knowing that he was helpless now, I stood up and grabbed my clothes. I slipped on my my t-shirt and jeans and limped towards my bag. Grabbing my notebook and pencil from my bag, I scribbled a little message inside. After I was done, I ripped the sheet of paper out and placed it gently next to his now limp form.

I made sure he read it before I continued.

By the terrified and shocked look on his face, I grabbed the object again and proceeded towards his body.

I didn't know why it gave me pleasure in cutting him open, but it did. The cries and screams that escaped his delicious lips after I slit his stomach, eyes, and genital areas made me ache for more. I turned it off and looked down at the masterpiece I've created.

He was a bloody mess now, and it was hard to tell that what used to lie on this bed was a beautiful man who was afraid of death. I licked off the small amount of blood that accidently dripped onto my fingers and sheepishly smiled again.

He was dead.

His eyes that longer existed anymore looked up at me, and I bent down and whispered into his ears, "It's not polite to stare at people."

I grabbed the weapon again and switched it on. I couldn't control myself. He was dead, and I knew it, but there was something inside that told me to keep going and destroy whatever there was left. I stared blankly at him, who was no longer really a him anymore, and allowed my arms to do what I couldn't think of doing.

And before I knew it, there was nothing left besides the blood that was stained and splattered on his bed, desk, and wall. His clothes that were tossed aside were drenched with red, and his floor looked as though it had been painted such a color. Satisfied, I turned it off for the final time and brushed the blood that somehow managed to find its way on my shirt.

I walked towards his bedroom door and dragged my bag along with me.

Closing his door behind me, I stared at his bed one last time, the only things that were present were the chainsaw I had used so delicately to create something so beautiful, and the note that was now bathed in his still dripping blood.

I nearly vomited reading it again, but I knew it was true. I couldn't hide it.

Those words kept playing again and again in my mind as I walked down the lonely midnight streets towards my own home, as if my brain was set on 'repeat'.

It wasn't before I was halfway towards my destination when I threw up. I collapsed onto the cold pavement of an unknown street and when I couldn't force anything else up from my stomach, I began to dry heave. I gasped as my eyes rolled to the back of my head, my mind whispering the same thing over and over again.

_"Watashi wa Kira desu." _

TBC

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A/N: No, he did not kill L. This is just a prologue. Please review :)


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